One of those gifts is that I feel so much more comfortable being open and up front with others. In recent years I have thrown a lot of insecurity and pretension to the wind. Huzzah! (Patting myself on the back, yep.)

For the longest time I had a very rigid idea of what my art career should be and what success in art looked like. I put a massive amount of pressure on myself and often found I was intertwining my art successes and failures with my personality and self perceptions. I thought of each project as a high stakes endeavor that would either catapult me into the limelight or send me to ruins. Pretty fun way to live and navigate things, yeah? I was living in a pressure cooker of my own making.

These days I am hungry for more opportunities to fail, to experiment with different media, and to connect with people, like-minded or not. A lot of my career I’ve seen this pursuit of making as a selfish endeavor, but when I think of the art in this world that resonates with me, I find that I’m not the only one who makes to connect.

As Ethan Hawke spoke of in a TED talk back in 2020: Most folks go about their lives not considering art, not thinking of it, not wanting it, not knowing it. Then something massive happens, the loss of a loved one that shakes you to your core. You start reaching for something, some way to see that you are not alone in this experience. And you find a piece of music, a poem, or a painting, or a sculpture that speaks to you and those feelings. That’s when art isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. ( Give Yourself Permission to Be Creative | Ethan Hawke | TED )

I am fortunate to have made art that has struck a chord with people in profound ways. The moments of connection whether I’m present or not make this life in art worth it.